The average Dallas-area commuter now loses 58 hours a year to rush-hour traffic. That’s according to the Texas Transportation Institute, which computed the number with things such as “travel-time indexes,” “free-flow speeds” and the “density of four-letter words in vehicular conversations.”

OK, I made that last one up. But I think it would be a good tool for assessing rush-hour torture. Another good one: the number of times people say, “I could walk faster than this!”

I’ve muttered that to myself a few times, but let’s be serious. Can you ever just step out of your car and outpace traffic? For a few steps, maybe, but then you would get mowed down by a driver using the shoulder as the unofficial road-rage lane. That’ll slow you down.

Anyway, we lose 58 hours a year. But on the bright side, those 58 hours give us a lot of time to think. And now — thanks to travel-time indexes, free-flow speeds and other data including the number of fists slammed against steering wheels — we know the time breakdown of those thoughts.

Remember, these are averages based on thousands of drivers, so they might not apply to you. Especially if you’re the super-productive person that we all promise to be right after we get in a quick snooze on the couch.

The yearly results:

57 minutes

I think if I switch into that other lane, I’ll go faster.

53 minutes

I think the lane that I left is now going faster.

1 hour, 16 minutes

That sign says merge, but I wonder if I can stay in this lane for another half-mile or so and zip by the other people merging now.

46 minutes

Being stuck in traffic gives me time to pray. Lord, please make all these other cars get off at the next exit.

24 minutes

Your son is an honor student at the elementary school? Well, maybe he’ll know how to use turn signals.

39 minutes

Does every Lasik surgeon advertise on the radio?

19 minutes

That person weaving in and out of traffic is so dangerous, I better text-message my friend about it.

2 minutes

I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, it felt good to be out of the rain, in the desert, you can remember your name.… Why do I know those lyrics? I’m doomed.

26 minutes

Oh, now you want to merge back into this lane? What, the other lane wasn’t good enough for you? Well, there’s plenty of room to merge behind me.

3 hours, 17 minutes

Just relax. There’s nothing you can do about the traffic, so why stress out? Just calm down, breathe deep, and speed up, speed up, don’t let that guy get in front of you.

22 minutes

This rush-hour traffic is so bad for the environment, it would be more Earth-friendly if I worked at home. I wonder if my boss will buy that.

14 minutes

That billboard is hard to read, so maybe I do need Lasik. I have to squint just to see the.….BRAKES! BRAKES!

16 minutes

That’s right, I am staring at you. And if you cut me off again, I will do it again.

19 minutes

I can’t believe it, he’s picking his nose! Why would anyone do that in front of all these people? Oh, wait, I guess he’s rubbing his eye.

12 minutes

Hey, guy in the sports car who won’t let me merge, that’s a gorgeous mid -life crisis you’re driving.

17 minutes

I really shouldn’t cuss so much, especially with my kids in the back seat.

39 minutes

Whoa, that was close! Why in the world is that person walking on the shoulder?