Father’s Day is Sunday, so it’s time to go out and buy a tie, circular saw or another perfect gift. Thankfully, approximately four million gifts claim to be perfect for Father’s Day, including this:

The Ultimate Turbo Nose and Ear Hair Trimmer.

That’s a perfect gift? Sounds more like an intervention. It’s the gift that says, “We love you Dad, but you need to do some detail work.”

Another gift idea is to surprise Dad with camping gear for the entire family. My mom did that one year, allowing my dad to spend five minutes relaxing in the great outdoors. He spent the rest of the weekend cursing the tent stakes that wouldn’t stay in place, worrying about his kids falling off a cliff and telling us to stop throwing pine cones at each other.

The perfect Father’s Day.

Well, nothing is perfect about being a dad. Including these 10 tips for Dads-to-be who wonder what fatherhood will be like. I feel authorized to pass them along because I’m the father of two, and because, uh …

The first one should explain it.

1. No dad really knows what he’s doing. That know-it-all guy who tells you how he’s mastered all the fundamentals of child development? Even he will eventually have questions, doubts, and perhaps, a daughter who shaves her head and not under her arms.

2. WE are not pregnant. When you are expecting a baby, only your wife is pregnant. You’re not the one dealing with morning sickness, backaches and leg cramps. You’re more like one of those top-level executive types who is only involved in the germination of the project and then returns later — in this case, nine months — to receive congratulations for a job well done. Enjoy your limited role. It won’t last.

3. Gear up for the baby. When you bring your baby home, you’ll need about half the current inventory of a Babies ‘R’ Us. For cleaning up after the baby, you’ll need wet wipes, burp cloths and, if available, a dog. You’ll also want some one-piece outfits, gowns, socks and hats for the baby. And, oh yes, several footed rompers. These are essential for all the romping babies do shortly after birth.

4. Children develop at different rates. Some learn to stand early but learn to talk late; some talk early but are late pulling to a stand. Don’t panic. In a few years, you’ll wish your child would just sit down and shut up.

5. Kids will love mom more. At least for the first few years, a child will probably be more connected to his or her mom. That’s human nature. But it’s also human nature for a child to love to ride on dad’s shoulders and pretend to be 7 feet tall. At least until a head hits a ceiling-fan blade.

6. Don’t worry about food. If you force your kids to eat vegetables, they will hate them. If you simply introduce your kids to vegetables … OK, they’ll still hate them. But if your child seems to survive only on chicken nuggets, milk and Jell-O, you’re not alone.

7. Lead by example. You’ll be a key role model for your children, so prepare to see all your flaws reflected in them. Remember this when you’re stuck in $#%*&! traffic and your children are in the back seat. If your kids scream the expletive for you because they remember it from the last time, well, let’s move on to No. 8.

8. Don’t worry about your mistakes. We all make them and we all learn from them. Let your kids learn from their mistakes, too, which leads to No. 9.

9. Let your kids be themselves. The shaved head, pierced tongue and visible underwear won’t be around forever, and neither will you. Teach your kids to be independent thinkers and try not to worry about them. Unless they really think the Ultimate Turbo Nose and Ear Hair Trimmer is a perfect gift.