Well, high school seniors, graduation day is almost here. The day when you put on a cap and gown, realize how much you’ve learned in high school, and then realize one thing you didn’t learn:

Where the tassel should lie on the graduation cap.

Hmm … Does this thing go on the left or the right? It’s a question graduates have asked for decades, along with, “Instead of ‘Pomp and Circumstance,’ can Alice Cooper’s ‘School’s Out’ be played as we walk toward the stage?”

The answer to the second question, as always, is no. And don’t bother asking to hear Pink Floyd sing “We don’t need no education, we don’t need no thought control” at your graduation. This is a serious occasion, which is why you’ll be wearing a square piece of mortarboard on your head.

As for the tassel, it usually starts on the right side of the cap and is moved to the left after you receive your diploma. But some schools like to do it the opposite way. So look at your fellow graduates and copy what they are doing — kind of like you did during final exams.

(I mean what you saw other people do during exams. I’m sure you always kept your eyes on your own work.)

Anyway, don’t worry about where to put the tassel. Right side or left, you’ll still blend in with your classmates, still get your diploma, and still look as if you’re wearing an unfinished art project on your head. Fortunately, it will match your shower-curtain gown.

I know this graduation stuff seems a little crazy. But remember how your history teacher made you memorize trivial details about ancient wars? You thought that was crazy, but now that you’re more mature, you understand that knowing that the Peloponnesian War lasted from 431 to 404 B.C. is essential to your future.

Ah yes, your future. That’s bound to cross your mind during the graduation ceremony.

Why?

Because a formal celebration of one chapter in your life forces you to think about the next. Seriously, it’s true. That’s why so many wedding guests end up dating each other. Attending the wedding gets them thinking about how they would like to be in a committed relationship, and once the booze starts flowing, they get desperate and exchange phone numbers while dancing the funky chicken.

Graduation is different, obviously. But it can have the same effect.

Before the ceremony, you might be thinking about where you’re going to party that night. But when speeches tell you “the Class of 2007 will be the leaders of tomorrow” and “the Class of 2007 will make a difference” and “the Class of 2007 will change the world,” you’ll suddenly say to yourself:

Omigod, the world is really in trouble. I’m not ready to be a leader! I’m not ready to change the world! I’ll never remember the dates of the Peloponnesian War, and I can’t even spell it!

Don’t panic. I actually had to look up the spelling of Peloponnesian. And I’ve survived for years with a very sketchy knowledge of the Franco-Prussian War. (It involved Francos and Prussians).

So don’t doubt yourself. Don’t doubt that you can be someone who makes a difference. After all, there’s a reason why a wise person once said, “I believe that children are our future … teach them well and let them lead the way.”

OK, maybe “wise” isn’t the best way to describe Whitney Houston these days. But before she met Bobby Brown, she was coherent. And the advice she gave in “The Greatest Love of All” still rings true today.

Children are the future. And now that you’re adults, members of the Class of ’07, your challenge to make the world a better place begins now. Or right after you buy some more Extra Strength Clearasil.

Congratulations on your graduation. Now think about what you want to do with your life. Amid all the pomp, cheers and motivational speeches at your graduation, there’s a good chance you’ll be struck with inspiration.

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Every Monday, Dallas Morning News columnist Matt Wixon brings the funny to Break Room.   E-mail Matt Wixon