Johnathan Walton was born in Morocco back in 1974 and was raised by a pack
of laughing hyenas; which explains why he equates the sound of laughter with approval
and why, against the prevailing theories of evolution, he still manages to grow
quite an impressive swath of back hair.
That's really not true. But the
truth is hardly believable.
Johnathan Walton was actually born on
the Caribbean island of Jamaica back in 1974 and was raised by his Jamaican-Lebanese
mother and grandmother. He grew up on that island paradise under the austerity
of perpetual ridicule, he was mocked and chided everywhere he went. "Big,
fat, sour, white boy!" was the colorful phrase locals shouted to herald his
close proximity.
Johnathan was raised in Jamaica for the first part
of his lackluster, ridicule laden, overweight, couldn't-get-a-girlfriend, borderline
miserable, childhood.
While attending Prep School in Kingston, Jamaica
(that's what they called it, Prep School) his 2nd grade teacher actually told
Johnathan's mother that she feared her son was mentally retarded. Riddled with
panic, Ingrid Walton had her son's head examined immediately. Turned out, not
only was Johnathan able to cleverly fit the square peg into the square hole time
and time again, but he actually had an IQ bordering on the genius level.
It
wasn't until 1992 at the tender age of 17 (he started losing his hair) that Johnathan
graduated (just barely) from the prestigious (not really) Campion College (it
ain't a college either); a Jamaican high school extolling the virtues of a British
Colonial education (corporal punishment).
After high school (and
one sore butt) Johnathan moved to South Florida on his own (while his mother paid
through the nose) to attend Broward Community College. Three and a half years
later, he graduated from the 2 year institution (flunked algebra 5 times) with
an Associate of Arts Degree in Television and Radio Broadcasting (Carries less
weight than a GED). From there he moved to Orlando (his mother still paying through
the nose) and attended the University of Central Florida for nearly 2 years (waste
of time) then decided to move back to South Florida ('cause he couldn't make any
friends) to attend Florida International University in Miami. Because of some
cosmic quirk in the State University System (he took all the wrong classes) almost
none of his UCF credits transferred to FIU (his benevolent mother growing less
benevolent), so Johnathan had to start all over again with just an AA degree under
his belt. (Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?)
While attending
FIU's School of Journalism and Mass Communication, Johnathan had a feature article
published in the Miami Herald (his mom knows people) he also helped start FIU's
inaugural school newscast; playing the roles of producer, writer, editor and reporter.
After which, he completed two successful television butt kissing extravaganzas
(internships) at ABC's WPLG-TV and FOX's WSVN-TV in Miami. Johnathan Finally graduated
(just don't do a background check) from FIU, having earned all A's (except for
the D's) during his scholastic tenure. On December 12th 1998 Johnathan (and his
cash strapped mother) was the proud recipient of a Bachelor of Science Degree
in Broadcast Journalism from Florida International University.
His
first real TV job was as an Associate Producer (lackey) for the Special Projects
Unit at WSVN-TV (got lunch a lot), he was later promoted to producer when he got
the idea for the television segment that would become Walton's World. He put a
makeshift resume tape together chock full of fun and freaky stories then pitched
it to stations across the country. Having never been on TV before, Johnathan received
on-air job offers from Hartford, Colorado Springs, El Paso, Raleigh and San Antonio.
He then decided hands down that the Alamo City was the place to be (it paid the
most).
On June 5th 2000, Johnathan's on-air wild and wacky segment
(which was then called Walton's Window) began on KABB's FOX 29. The Alamo city
provided Johnathan with one rip-roaring adventure after another! From vintage
biplane flying (The Vomit Comet) to hanging with elderly nudists in Elmendorf
(The Vomit Comet part 2) Walton's Window was all about showcasing the lighter
and brighter side of San Antonio.
A year and eight months later Johnathan
moved to Houston and joined the "11 News This Morning" team on KHOU.
Walton's Window became Walton's World... and the 1 hour newscast he grew accustomed
to in San Antonio became a 3 hour morning juggernaut laden with laughs and new
challenges. (and new challenges getting laughs)
While other news
stations are clamoring to give you blood, crime and corruption (in that order),
orbiting Walton's World daily, you'll gaze only at vistas teaming with fun, merriment
and wonder. (And the occasional Indian man eating live snakes while a town of
300 rallies behind him)
Johnathan resides in the heart of Houston's
beautiful Downtown (under a bridge with the other trolls). On the weekends he
enjoys eating and watching taped episodes of Jerry Springer. (At the same time!)
Johnathan
wishes to thank all of his loyal viewers in Houston (the 3 of you know who you
are) for embracing Walton's World and making this, the dawn of a millennium (end
of the world!) the most happy and fulfilling time in his otherwise pathetic, forlorn,
lamentable existence.
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