DALLAS—Two diaries penned by Anna Nicole Smith in the early 1990s reveal a troubled young woman who professed to be deeply in love with octogenarian oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, but who was often depressed and concerned about her eating habits.

AP

Anna Nicole Smith

“I’ve been really stressed out lately and depressed and I can’t quit eating. I feel like a pig,” the former Playboy Playmate, who died Feb. 8 in a Florida hotel from a drug overdose, wrote in an entry dated Aug. 16, 1992.

The starlet’s journals, made available exclusively to The Associated Press on Thursday, are among several pieces of Smith memorabilia going up for public auction in a few weeks by Heritage Auction Galleries of Dallas.

One diary is a purple and green Hallmark hardbound book that includes a handwritten message on the inside cover: “This diary belongs to Vickie Smith. Do Not Read!”

Smith, whose real name is Vickie Lynn Smith, noted the beginning of her relationship with Paul Marciano, CEO of Guess Inc., where she eventually replaced Claudia Schiffer in the company’s jeans advertisements.

“O my Gosh!! Paul Marsiano called today to see if I got his books also I’m gonna go to San Antonio to do photo shoot,” she wrote on June 23, 1992. “I’m so excited!! I can’t believe this.  This could be it.”

The entry ends with five hand-drawn smiley faces.

Two days later she details a trip to a Nieman Marcus store where she bought $3,000 worth of clothing.

“I’m so happy they look great,” she wrote. “I hope it empresses Paul Marsiano. ... I’m starving!! I’ve been starving myself.”

By August, Smith revealed a disdain for eating and sex, and growing frustration with Marshall, who was 63 years older than Smith when they married in 1994.

“I’ve been really stressed out lately and depressed and I can’t quit eating. I feel like a pig. Howard has been buying me some jewelry but he call me 15 or 20 times a day it drives me crazy. I love him but he aggravates me sometimes,” she wrote. “I don’t no what to do about Paul he’s strange guy. I hate for men to want sex all the time.”

The entry ends with a large underlined “Chow!”

On June 13, 1992, she wrote that she was hung over and stayed home to watch a movie, adding that she “Took a Zandrex!”

An autopsy report showed Smith died Feb. 8 at age 39 on from an accidental overdose of at least nine prescription drugs—including a powerful sleep aid—and that there was no foul play.

Her second diary is a much smaller spiral bound paperback Guess Kids calendar from 1994.

The individual entries are not dated but describe her relationship with Marshall, who was ill and died in 1995.

“He’s so very weak and fragile When I touch him I’m afraid he might break,” she wrote. “If Jesus decides to take him I don’t no what I’ll do. I love him so much it hurts me to site and watch him when he’s hurting I just want to hold him touch him let him no how much I care.”

After Marshall’s death, the Texas high school dropout who became a topless dancer took her fight for his estimated $500 million fortune as far as the Supreme Court.

That ongoing battle could make her infant daughter, Dannielynn, very wealthy.

Howard K. Stern, her lawyer-turned-companion, and two other men, have claimed to be the baby’s father.

The auction house obtained the journals, as well as a $16,954.66 receipt from a Bloomingdale’s shopping spree in 1992, a signed bank check from Smith and her 1994 Texas photo ID card, from an anonymous German businessman who purchased the items on eBay for more than $500,000 several weeks ago.

Doug Norwine, director of music and entertainment memorabilia at Heritage, said the man decided to auction the diaries after securing the publishing rights. Opening bids will start a $20,000, Norwine said, and he expects both to fetch as much as $100,000.

The diaries are part of a larger music and entertainment auction being held by Heritage on April 14-15.

It will also feature Walt Disney’s 1965 U.S. passport, a guitar played by Elvis Presley in the 1962 film “Follow That Dream” and a well-worn 1953 Martin guitar once owned by Kurt Cobain.