Fifty Shades Freed hit theaters Friday — and for these critics, the third and final installment of the Fifty Shades series couldn't come (and be over with) soon enough.
Based on the popular erotic novels by E. L. James, there seems to still be zero chemistry between the on-screen Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and his lover Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) since the first film in 2015.
Here are some of the best of the worst reviews:
"Hang up the chains and lock the Red Room: Our painfully unsexy cinematic nightmare is about over... Ludicrous situations are a hallmark of this franchise, and Freed lives up to expectation: Much of the movie is narrative nonsense leading to the next round of nakedness"
"As it is, there is no movie regardless, just a series of glossy tableau that lack even the vulgar charge of real porn. At this point, Johnson and Dornan can't even go through the motions of spank-pant-rinse-repeat with any conviction. They look as bored as we are. Back in 2015, we generously awarded Fifty Shades of Grey a one-star rating. For the sequel, we cut that down to half a star. With this last entry, we have officially hit the bottom of the barrel. Whips, chains, butt plugs and nipple clips are nothing compared to the sheer torture of watching this movie."
"Luckily, the film is happy to forget this feint of a plot for long stretches, and instead structures itself around a handful of lavish vacations and sex scenes. If there’s one legacy I hope other films pick up from this series, it’s that it treats its sex scenes the way the Fast and Furious franchise treats car chases, set pieces to be gushed about while exiting the theater."
"Layering a damp-squib thriller subplot beneath what appears to be an ad campaign for the one-percent lifestyle, the returning director and screenwriter (James Foley and Niall Leonard) test the newly married couple with an inconvenient pregnancy and an unconvincing car chase... As popular as this window-fogging franchise has become, its flaccid finale is likely critic proof."
"Strip the pleasure away from a guilty pleasure and what are you left with exactly? Fifty Shades Freed, the third and final cinematic installment in E.L. James’ trashy S&M trilogy, answers that question with every ludicrous plot twist, stilted line delivery, and too-laughable-to-be-hot sex scene."
"Johnson and Dornan do their best with the material as well, and, at least for the former’s sake, Ana Steele has a minimal sense of humor and a bit of life to her. Christian Grey, on the other hand, is such a bore that Dornan seems to be doubling down on the stiffness and gives his line readings like he’s reciting from a teleprompter."